


The Natural Blond

by shinysparks



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Durin Family, Inspired by Twitter, Sorry Not Sorry, The things Bilbo would just as soon forget, all your fault heyerette, dwarven family jewels, elf/dwarf insults, enjoy your facepalming, no frodo i didn't tell you everything because DAMN
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 23:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2671166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysparks/pseuds/shinysparks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things get exposed when the talk turns to Thranduil's very blond hair...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Natural Blond

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Heyerette](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heyerette/gifts), [Thymelady](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thymelady/gifts).



> **A/N:** Dedicated to the lovely Heyerette, who mentioned Thranduil's bleach blonde hair on twitter and inspired this plot bunny; and to the lovely Thymelady, who got to beta this monstrosity in public and endured worried stares as the result. ;)

Thorin stood before Thranduil, smirking, before turning to his youngest nephew, "Is it just me, Kili, or are his roots showing?"

Thranduil scoffed.

"No more than your other nephew's, I assure you." He spat, causing Fili to growl in annoyance, before stomping forward to face the Elf king.

"I _am_ a natural blond!" He said through gritted teeth, before jerking his trousers down, exposing himself and the golden hairs below. "BEHOLD THE SON OF DURIN!!!"

Bilbo looked on, eyes wide from shock, before Balin quietly whispered in his ear: "And that, laddie, is what we dwarves call a _'third leg.'_ "


End file.
